Coming back...

After a long gap i am writing and feel like writing..i feel connected, not to others but somewhere with myself. Being pregnant brings in so many unusual experiences and responsibilities. and the best thing that happened to me was i for hte first time connected to my body my thoughts my feeling so strongly...wow!!
And then of course was this fabulous journey that i am having through the Kabir songs and satsang.
i was very bitter inside(about people,situations,etc..) and the moment i accepted that/realized that it just vanished...there was within me a very peaceful calmness....i still do have my questions and moments of turmoil but it doesn't lead me to become bitter or frustrated. i am able to look at it ,sometimes laugh at it, sometimes just let it be there..the feeling..the turmoil and it helps..
there are days when am singing Kabir songs and am not even reflecting or thinking about what am singing..and there are days when just one stanza gets stuck in my mind and i keep repeating it and it just feels very different..so may thoughts and turmoils because of that one stanza, for instace yesterday i kept saying' mat kar Maya ko ahankar.mat kar kaya ko abhimaan ..kaya dhul ho jaasi...jaise oos ra moti...'
its so beautiful... but u must listen to the whole song to understand..its amazing...

another favourite is
'thara rang mahal mein'

well...a lovely journey thats happening.n will keep sharing about it here...
For now my Baby is demanding for food..so have to go...

love..

bahot din baad...

bahot din ke baad ye khushi aaj mehsoos hui..
bahot din ke baad aaj saanso mein kuch nayi tazgi mehoos hui..
zindagi humse muh mod nahin rahi thi..
woh to hum the jise zindagi ki pukar sunai nahi padi thi..
nazariye ka sawal tha ya sach mein kuch alag tha..
aaj jaisa pehlle to hume mehsoos hua nahin tha..
ruk jana chate hai hum aaj iss pal mein hamesha ke liye...
par hume ye pata hai ki kal phir hum kahenge ki..kuch to galat hai...
zindagi isi ko kehte hai shayed..jismein na koi mukam na mazil hai phir bhi kahin pohoch ne ka ehsaas har dum reheta hai...
yahi sochte rahete hai hum har pal..kabhi khud se ladte kabhi aauro se..
aur jeete rehte hai zindagi ki pukar sunte sunte..

Hanth Chhute Bhi To Rishte Nahin Chhuta Karte

this gazal always makes me wonder...how true..
hanth chute bhi to rishtey nahin chuta karte...
and also......
zindagi mein log chute jaate hai par yaadein nahin chuta karte...
logon se milna chute jaata hai par unke saath bitaye pal pal choota nahin karte...
neend mein se khwab choot jate hai par khwab dekehne ke hak choota nahin karte...
logon par se hak choot jata hai par unke liye fikra karne ke hak choota nahin karte..

choot gaye hum..kahin par tut gaye hum

kuch aaisa mehsoos hota hai..hum kahin par choot gaye..
jindagi ke iss raho maein hum kahin par tut gaye..
kuch kehena chahate hai..kuch sunnana chahate the..
kuch kehete kehete kahi par labs choot gaye...
kuch sunte sunte kahi par rishte tut gaye..
kya kare kya kahe hum...kehete kehete dar jate hai..
kahin bache kuche kuch lamhe iss haantho se choot na jaye..
yeah berukhi si jindagi kahin hum se muh mod na jaye...

My Hearts Caves
At the shore i hear the sound of waves,
It makes me go to my hearts deepest caves,
It makes me wonder and ponder,
It makes me ask, what am i here for?
Am i here for others?
Or am i here to fly with beautiful feathers?
Am i here to fight?
Or am i here to do what is right?
I look at the sea and wonder again,
Going back to my hearts deepest caves again.

my favourite poem...

Rays of hope are bright but slow,
You tend to feel that they come and go,
But if u look at the scene as a whole,
You’ll realize they are forever in your soul !!!

......

somebody the other day send me this very thoughtful message,"if there is one dot it ends a long sentence and if there is one more it adds so much more".and yes thats the reason you see so many "......"in all my messages,my letters,my diaries.
there is always a little more to say and not enough words.
and yes ofcourse..there are things that cannot be expressed and may be there are no appropriate words for what we feel...
and these amazing"...." concept helps us..
and there are situations when people have to be left wondering what it is and thats when this helps"..." and also when the person who is writing is not sure and the boss is asking for somthing more this"..." helps...
it helps...but it also helps not to use it too often,because then people think that you don't know anything.
so a little thought on the message and lots coming to my head..but alas..
i dont know how to say....
so bye and keep thinking....about what i said.....