this was something that i always did...writing..
but now it seems like an alien thing to do. i had to pester myslef to creat this blog and then start writing.but now itfeels nice. may be earlier there was this motivation that someone would read and i'd find somebody to live my life with. but now am married. and i know he will not have time to go through my blog.but was that the only reson that i was writing. no........
i think...i was feeling lot of things..now everything seems so distant..different. there is a hesitation before i express because i don't know if i am actually feeling it. its like a dream when i read my poems and my diaries.i feel kind of lost.
with no intellectual stimulation aroun anybody would feel what i am feeling.
not being understood not being recognised.not getting phone calls for days. calling but being cut out.
did i trade off my life for being what i am or i didnt see it coming? i keep telling myself it will change..but what will change? me or my perspective or some body else?
why am i waiting longing for something all the time?is it lack of people in my life or a shallowness in my thinking?
i don't know but if you do i'd love to know.
